God’s Help to Have a Great Marriage

Mark 10:7-9 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”

As a Pastor, I have been asked to give spiritual guidance to couples that are struggling in their marriage. Sometimes you have both the husband and wife really wanting to make things work. This is best case scenario. Other times you have a husband that wants to fight for the marriage but his wife doesn’t or a wife that wants to fight for her marriage but the husband doesn’t. These marriages are extremely difficult to help. In any case, I am obligated by the Word of God to point couples to Jesus, to His Word, and to believe for a miracle of resurrected love that can only come when hearts are open to learn and be corrected by God’s Word. The Word of God simply doesn’t give me permission to say – “Just hang it up – you two will never make it.” Only in cases of infidelity or when one person is married to an unbeliever, does God show allowance through His Word. (And by the way, this is not to condemn anyone who is remarried or who has been divorced. Look forward – not back!)

I have never hidden the fact that Renee and I had problems in the first years of our marriage. We were stubborn, immature, and selfish as we entered marriage. Most everyone thinks they can figure out how to be married and the love will conquer all – this is until they face a brutal awakening. We had great love but also great immaturity. There were times where we were afraid that we might not make it – where we thought about throwing in the towel – where “feelings” of love no longer seemed to be there. So what kept us fighting for our marriage? Probably some of the same things that keep many people in a marriage.

Being Christians, we didn’t want to fail in our marriage. What kind of a testimony to God’s love and power is that? We didn’t want to suffer the embarrassment. We didn’t want to be failures. We didn’t want to be viewed as phonies and hypocrites. Those were all poor reasons for wanting to have a good marriage and yet I am glad they were there. They were a peer pressure; good or bad – that helped us hang in there.

There were also the right and most important reasons that we couldn’t quit. First, we knew it was not God’s will. We believed there had to be a way to turn it around. We believed and had faith in that. Secondly, strange as it may sound, in the midst of the turmoil, I knew that I had loved my wife and that love still had to be in there. Until those feelings were resurrected, I had to live out of the commitment that comes with love. Love is more than some elusive feeling. Thirdly, and we truly believe God always has the answer you need and He is always there to help you get it right! Aways! The question was, were we willing to humble ourselves and seek Him in whatever way it took to get the answers and help from Him to turn it around? We were! I was! I love God. I have always been determined to not let Satan eat my lunch. I have always been determined to fulfill God’s will. Renee was the same way.

I got before the Lord and being the head of my family and marriage, I sought the Lord often asking Him to change me and help me do whatever it took to turn our marriage around. It took time seeking God. Honestly, most people aren’t willing to pay this kind of price. But the price to co-exist unhappily is higher than the price to seek God for the answers and strength to change what needs to be changed. Some men have given up and already mentally and emotionally checked out of their marriage. They have looked around at other women. They have played mentally with the thought of moving past their wife into affairs or pornography, flirting, or masturbation, or whatever.

I stayed before the Lord. He helped me. He helped me to see things that bothered me with new perspective. He helped me be more patient and kind in my temperament. He helped me value the good I saw in Renee and look past the very quirks that I too had. He helped me in ways I don’t have words for. He restored our love for each other. We now have a awesome marriage and we have matured in our love in more ways than I can describe. It makes me so thankful to God.

The Word of God can be so powerful and alive! In John 14:26, the Holy Spirit is called the Counselor who will teach us in ALL things. Think about that. He is the Counselor. In other words, the advice, the wisdom, the help, the perfect counsel from the one whom is ALL KNOWING is available to those that seek Him. That is why we could not quit. We knew God had an answer. We knew He wanted us to have it. I knew I had the grace as the head of my marriage and family. I knew I could and had to do WHATEVER it took to get it right. God honored that and now I have the marriage I have dreamed of when it was the marriage I toyed with throwing away.

I have learned that I can’t make anyone believe God when it says, “All things are possible to Him who believes,” but I know it’s true and I try. That’s all I can do. I always hope people can take hold of what I say but if they won’t listen to God why would they listen to me? And yet I keep saying it. I pray they won’t quit. I pray that ask God to renew their hope and then go from there. The true spiritual guidance any of us need for any area of our life is present within us if we have Jesus as our Lord and the Holy Spirit as our Counselor!

In His Love,
Pastor Tim Burt
http://readfreshmanna.blogspot.com/

Published by Pastor Tim Burt
Copyright© 2008 Tim Burt, All rights reserved.

Children’s Bibles for Adults?

Deut. 6:6-7 “These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.”

My daughter and her husband went out of town this weekend for a conference. Consequently, we had our two granddaughters who are 4 & 5 years old stay with us. It’s been sheer delight.

Monday morning with my granddaughters brought back all the wonderful memories of our busy morning routine from when our kids were small. We all got up early which is normal for Renee and I anyway, to get the girls ready for school. I delayed preparing and writing Fresh Manna so that I could do with the girls what I always did with my children. I had devotional time with them.

When my kids were little, we’d all get up at a certain time. They’d dress, make their beds, eat breakfast, brush their teeth, and then meet me in the living room for Bible time by a certain time. God’s Word spoke to me about the importance of teaching our children His Word and ways. Today’s Fresh Manna says, “These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” Renee and I had created a motivational plan to help motivate them to get ready each morning that worked wonderfully. We’d then have morning devotions.

Prior to having children I’d spend time my own quiet time with the Lord and in His word each morning. As I spent time reading and teaching them the word each morning, my own personal devotional time seemed to erode away. At first I’d feel guilty about that but wasn’t sure what to do. Each of the kids had a Bible book that was age relevant and each of them wanted me to read a story from their own book. Because we had four children, that would take about 30 minutes by the time I’d read and we’d all talk about each story. Then we’d all pray together. When they were little and didn’t know how to pray, I’d pray and have them repeat what I prayed. It helped them learn to pray the Word and pray for others. Over time, each learned to pray from their heart. One of the wonderful by-products of teaching them to pray out loud was that they weren’t intimidated to pray in from of others when their teacher or someone would look for a volunteer to pray.

As I said, at first I’d feel guilty because my personal time with God had been replaced with helping them with devotions. One day I was talking to the Lord about it and the Lord stopped me and said, “When you read the Bible stories to your children, do they speak to YOUR heart?” The answer was – Yes, they did! Before I would read to the kids, we’d always pray and welcome the Holy Spirit and ask Him to teach us from the stories we were about to read. As I would read them, they spoke to me just like my own Bible. When the Lord asked me that question, I almost felt ashamed to say “Yes Lord, those children’s Bible books really speak to me.” But then the Lord continued with me, “If they are ministering to your heart, then aren’t we having devotional time together?” I was immediately set free from guilt because I realized that the Lord and I were having time together. My children just happened to be a part of it.

This morning, as I had devotions with my granddaughters, I began by praying and welcoming the Holy Spirit, asking Him to teach us and bring revelation to our hearts. The book I was reading from was for a child’s Bible for the age group 4 to 7 years old. I was reading them about the story of Elisha helping a woman in trouble with debt and need.

2 Kings 4:1-7 (NLT) “One day the widow of one of Elisha’s fellow prophets came to Elisha and cried out to him, “My husband who served you is dead, and you know how he feared the Lord. But now a creditor has come, threatening to take my two sons as slaves.” “What can I do to help you?” Elisha asked. “Tell me, what do you have in the house?” “Nothing at all, except a flask of olive oil,” she replied. And Elisha said, “Borrow as many empty jars as you can from your friends and neighbors. Then go into your house with your sons and shut the door behind you. Pour olive oil from your flask into the jars, setting the jars aside as they are filled.” So she did as she was told. Her sons brought many jars to her, and she filled one after another. Soon every container was full to the brim! “Bring me another jar,” she said to one of her sons. “There aren’t any more!” he told her. And then the olive oil stopped flowing. When she told the man of God what had happened, he said to her, “Now sell the olive oil and pay your debts, and there will be enough money left over to support you and your sons.”

Even my little granddaughters saw and understood that what Elisha did was a miracle. In their child-like faith they know God is a God of miracles. They believe in miracles. This woman believed the prophet and she received her miracle. That oil didn’t pour miraculously for the rest of her life. It was His miracle for her at that point and time of her need. That is what God does for us. We respond and do our part like this woman did, and God miraculously helps us in our time of need. Then we live a life of thanksgiving understanding that we serve a compassionate God who does miracles and cares about all aspect of our life!

My Granddaughters got taught and built up this morning but so did I! Obeying God and ministering the Word to our children blesses them – but it blesses us just as much if we are expecting God to speak to us – even from children’s Bibles!

In His Love,

Pastor Tim Burt
http://readfreshmanna.blogspot.com/

Published by Pastor Tim Burt
Copyright© 2008 Tim Burt, All rights reserved.